THE 'IF' AND 'BUT' CANCER IN APOLOGIES.
If your apology contains the word 'but' or 'if you hadn't', it is not an apology; it is a counter-attack disguised as humility. Drop the defensive weapons.
You know deep down in your spleen whether you messed up. You just came here to see if a website would give you a legal loophole.
If your apology contains the word 'but' or 'if you hadn't', it is not an apology; it is a counter-attack disguised as humility. Drop the defensive weapons.
Say what you did, acknowledge the damage, and do not demand immediate absolution. People need time to digest your newfound emotional maturity.
Own your 20% like a grown-up. You are not responsible for policing their conscience.
Never apologize to an abuser or manipulator where it invites further harm. Prioritize safety and boundaries over etiquette.