RELATIONSHIPS RELATIONSHIPS · A VOICE CALL IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD

SHOULD I CALL THEM?

A telephone call? Using actual human vocal cords? In this economy? Let us inspect the catastrophic parameters.

COMMON SCENARIOS:
It's my crush It is my boss outside work hours Friend owes me money Need customer support Parent called 4 times I want to confess something

BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING STUPID

RULE #1

THE UNSCHEDULED PHONE CALL PROTOCOL.

Unless someone is on fire or in an ambulance, an unannounced phone call feels to modern humans like an FBI raid. Send a warning text first.

RULE #2

CALL YOUR PARENTS.

If the person calling you is your mom or dad, close this website immediately and call them back. They just want to know you are still alive.

FREQUENTLY AVOIDED QUESTIONS

What if a text will lead to a 50-message misunderstanding?

That is the single legitimate reason for a phone call. Put on speakerphone, be calm, and get it over in 3 minutes.

Can I just leave a voicemail?

Nobody has listened to a voicemail voluntarily since 2008. Text them.