LAZINESS LAZINESS · NEGOTIATING WITH GRAVITY AND SWEAT

SHOULD I GO TO THE GYM?

Your workout sneakers are staring at you with quiet disappointment. Will you lace them up or invent a fake hamstring strain?

COMMON SCENARIOS:
I've been saying 'tomorrow' for 11 days Genuinely exhausted from physical labor Just ate a massive meal Too crowded right now Have only 30 minutes Feeling lazy but physically fine

BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING STUPID

RULE #1

THE WORST WORKOUT IS THE ONE YOU SKIPPED.

Even an uninspired 20-minute shuffle on a treadmill resets your nervous system. You have never returned from a workout saying, "Gee, I wish I stayed on Twitter instead."

RULE #2

LOWER THE SACRED BARRIER TO ENTRY.

You do not need a 90-minute Olympic preparation program. Put on gym shorts, walk through the doors, and do three exercises.

FREQUENTLY AVOIDED QUESTIONS

What if I am feeling sick?

If you have fever, chills, or contagious symptoms, stay home and rest. Nobody at the gym wants your pathogens.

What if I am intimidated by gym bros?

99% of people at the gym are terrified someone is looking at them and are completely lost in their own headphone playlists.