FOOD FOOD · A $9 BURGER THAT SOMEHOW COSTS $37 AT CHECKOUT

SHOULD I ORDER FOOD?

You are looking at a food delivery basket containing service fees, delivery fees, regulatory fees, and tip. Is the laziness worth the toll?

COMMON SCENARIOS:
Fridge is completely empty There is leftovers in the fridge Already cooked 3 times this week Checking account is weeping Genuinely exhausted from work Celebrating a tiny victory

BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING STUPID

RULE #1

THE ANATOMY OF DELIVERY EXTORTION.

When a sandwich costs $12 on the menu and $29.40 at the confirmation screen, you are no longer buying food; you are paying a private courier to indulge your inertia.

RULE #2

THE QUICK EMERGENCY MEAL.

Scrambled eggs, canned soup, or frozen dumplings take less time to prepare than waiting for a bicycle courier to get lost behind your apartment complex.

FREQUENTLY AVOIDED QUESTIONS

What if I have literally zero groceries?

Then ordering food is survival, not luxury. Order something nutritious that yields tomorrow’s lunch as well.

Can I add a $7 milkshake because delivery is free over $30?

Spending $7 to save $4 in delivery is peak modern financial delusion.