LAZINESS LAZINESS · SANCTIONED RETREAT FROM THE HUMAN RACE

SHOULD I STAY HOME?

The world outside features traffic, small talk, weather, and paying $9 for iced tea. Your home features quiet and pillows.

COMMON SCENARIOS:
It is raining or freezing I have zero social battery My house is clean and cozy Friends invited me out I need to run errands I haven’t seen daylight in 48 hours

BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING STUPID

RULE #1

THE NOBLE ART OF HOME RETREAT.

Staying home without guilt is one of adulthood’s greatest accomplishments. Cook something simple, turn down the lights, and let the world spin without your supervision.

RULE #2

THE 15-MINUTE SUNLIGHT RULE.

If you choose to stay home all weekend, at least open the window or step on the balcony for ten minutes so your brain remembers photosynthesis.

FREQUENTLY AVOIDED QUESTIONS

What if I feel guilty about doing nothing?

Doing nothing with intention is rest. Doing nothing while stressing about what you should be doing is torture. Pick rest.

Is ordering food required when staying home?

Recommended, but cooking random pantry staples has an artisanal survivalist charm.